She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
