You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
