toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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