She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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