you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
