Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
