I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
