So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
