he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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