I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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