You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
