Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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