So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
