Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
