watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you win again, gameday.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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