what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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