so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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