I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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