I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize