The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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