Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
