Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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