Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
