Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
