I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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