So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
