Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
