So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
