fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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