yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
high people should be assigned attendants
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
