so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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