We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
There's even glitter on my cock...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
