Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
