my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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