When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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