OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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