he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
