but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
