if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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