google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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