I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
