im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
