Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
