ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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