found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
