It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
