I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
