I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
