we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
