Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize