i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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