Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
