THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
