i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
