I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
