Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
