i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
