the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
