it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
